Meditations: Day 5

Hey everyone, what's up? I know it's been a while and I've been meditating a bit so this isn't actually day 5 but who's keeping count right :p. In conjunction with my sitting meditation I've actually been doing walking meditation also which isn't as dangerous as it sounds, ha.  You pretty much just take a walk and chant exactly what it is you're doing at that moment in order to stay present. For example, while I'm walking I'll say "walking walking walking..." and then if I start thinking something in particular I say "thinking thinking thinking.." etc.  It's pretty cool and very different but we'll get into that later ;)

Meditations

Sitting, 45 mins...ok it was more like 43, Good meditation, lots of thoughts.

I came into this meditation with lots of thoughts that I was trying to cut through as is usually the case when I feel particularly energetic or lively. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing however; it actually helped me see that I've gained a deeper sense of overstanding of  my meditation.  The thoughts were there but they really weren't a hindrance or something that brought  about a deep disturbance which often happens when you're using effort to get rid of something.  I experienced these thoughts for what they were and appreciated the ups and downs and rocky road that they brought. Dare I say I enjoyed them (gasps!).
Many thoughts came to me but one stood out in my mind in particular; it's actually a thought I've been thinking about for a while now.  It's about how we each have these particular set of people, either by whom we are told are related to us or we have designated in our life as special, that we call family. We deem our family special because they often offer us support, comfort, and something to hold on to, they are our rock, to a certain degree they give us a purpose.  We look out for these people and can be quite bias towards them.  While most of us don't mean to do harm to others, if something were to happen, I mean really happen, if push came to shove, we would protect these people first and we would hope that they would do the same for us. These are our designated peoples, these are the people we've invested so much time, love, and care into.  During my meditation I took an Ariel view of this concept however, taking myself out of it as a person, and just viewing the situation as an observer. I saw different clans of people huddled up together all across this tiny white map clinging to each other for dear life. Some were dressed in traditional tribal gear and some were dressed in khakis.  After a while I saw one clan member turning out with a snarl on his face and say "these people are special!" a member from another clan would then say "No, these people are special!", then another clan would say "What?! no these people are special!" and so on and so forth each turning back with a pouty face frown...this made me laugh.  It made me think, aren't we all special? And if so why do we deem some people more special than others? Aren't we all part of the world family? Is my family more special simply because it's mine? Why do we have these designated people that we'd fight and die for, only to kill others who will be fought and died for? I believe if we could stop the mental separation we would see that the whole universe deserves out greatest gifts.
For example, I have my daughter whom I love very much but really is she any more special than any one's Else's daughter? Is she more worthy to be saved, cherished or loved?  I don't believe so. Yes she is my direct responsibility but really all daughters are my daughters, all men are my brothers, fathers, and sons, all women are my sisters and wives.  Many of us wear this mask, we trudge through life like its something to schemed on, plotted on, overcome; then we take off this mask when get home where we can let it all be, where we can open up our hearts to love and relaxation. Home is where the heart is right? I don't believe in this.  I think the whole world needs your love and blessing, your tenderness, your openness, your forgiveness, always.  Neglecting your macrocosm, Will only kill your microcosm! This is why our kids can't play outside, it's because of our Karma; it's because we're holding back our gifts for people we deem worthy.  I've got a news flash for you, everyone is worthy, all neighborhoods are safe where love is; as safe as a neighborhood can be anyway. Can you imagine how much deeper our lives would be, our love would be if we could see all people as ourselves.
Us as human beings we need something to hold on to. Something to go this is home, this is right, this is wrong, this is here, that is there, this is us, and that is them; we need to know this with some form of certainty.  I believe the truth however is quite opposite.  There is no definite right, wrong, up, down, it's all relative.  Everything changes, people you know will die, your life probably won't be remembered (at least not the way you think it will), everything built will fall, and really the only thing to hold on to, is that there's nothing to hold on to. Is this Nihilism? No, I don't believe so.  Like I said, we have a human body and we were born the way we were for some reason but I think the truth of the matter should be held in the back of our minds so we don't get lost in our egos. As human beings we have the unique ability to step outside of ourselves and see beyond "our" lives, and into life itself. Use it.

A fallen brethren or some who has lost their way is not an opportunity to say "that's not my problem", we need to treat this person as you would your aunt, uncle or any other family member.  If we don't give them the attention now, we'll be giving it later. We'll be giving it to them when they're on the news shooting up schools, putting bombs on buses, talking to themselves on trains, killing, stealing, these are the misunderstood.  And then when we seem them on the news we throw labels at them like "crazy", "terrorist","evil", "trash", like they're something outside ourselves to be thrown away, but they're not.  They're just like you and me they've just been left out of the world family; they feel powerless and alone.  What would you do if you were so lonely you could only have conversations with yourself on the train, wouldn't you go mad? Yes, some of these people have made mistakes, and to that I say a resounding so what? Haven't you made mistakes, huge mistakes, perhaps still making them right now? Haven't you done something so terrible that only a few people know about? I believe most of us have, it's just that these people's mistakes may have been brought to the light and maybe they were ostracized for it.  I'm not saying you have to be a superhero and go to every soup kitchen and save the world, on the contrary, I would encourage you not to, instead just help the people next to you.  Help the people you see everyday, give a smile, acknowledge someone, show compassion, take out the mental boundary, take out the us vs. them.

Walking meditation:

A collection of 15 min meditations,  Good meditations

In walking meditation I've discovered much stoicism.  Not as in lack of feeling but more like the understanding of feeling and emotions.  I've noticed that all emotions are preceded by a thought, and all fear is preceded by the thought of ones self.  Fear is just how an image, thought, or reaction, pertains to you, if you see it as a threat or not. I noticed this by observing myself, by staying present with the chanting, as I walked down the street I noticed that each new image brought about a feeling of pleasure or dread.  An image of a man may bring about a feeling of fear, someone bigger stronger possibly threatening.  In my particular case what brought about the most fear/anxiety was someone I possibly knew but didn't want to talk to, social anxiety, fear.  I also noticed there wasn't much that didn't bring about fear with me, just the image of another person in the distance, I'm afraid of my own shadow.  This shows a lack of confidence, A feeling of not being able to handle the world and the things that may come.  I really realized how much fear and anxiety is in my heart and how I much change this to live a fuller life. I also realized how beautiful everything was, with my mind so quiet I could sit down with something like a leaf and just look at it.  I didn't need a thousand news feeds or a magnifying glass, or music, or google to tell me exactly what kind of tree it fell from;  I could just look at it, for the first time, with my own eyes, it was beautiful, I saw a body, just as mine.

~Namaste

-Rey

Random Thoughts: Danger

Who's more dangerous, the man with something to fight for or the man with nothing to live for?

-Rey

Random thoughts

Things I've learned from parallel parking...

You can't Always judge where you're at by looking at our neighbor.

-Rey

Emerson -self reliance

"All men have my blood, and I have theirs."

-Emerson

Random Thoughts: Greatness

I was passing by a memorial for WWI soldiers and I thought...isn't that a bit silly. Like when I'm dead I won't care what people thought of my life, I don't want glory or remembrance, I'll be dead! I won't even have a brain or a body to do the caring, ha. I always think its funny when humans apply their morality to things that don't have human needs or desires.  That's like taking a block of wood to a party and saying "I know you were bored sitting in the garage all day so I took you out for a good time! Let's get wasted!!!" People must do these things for themselves; to remember history so it doesn't repeat itself, Or so they can tell their children "this is what they're grandfather did." But really what your grandfather did doesn't make you any greater. What your grandfather did makes his life what it was.  Only he can decide whether it was a success or failure, even if he did a million things.  Greatness isn't passed down in genes. You are a completely unique being that has never been seen before and will never be seen again. Love yourself, be true to the uniqueness that you are, that's what makes you great! Don't hold on to these stories of such and such, while you can appreciate them, they're not you.

Too many people live their life this way, thinking of their legacy or what others will think of them when they're gone.  My ex use to always tell me "Be a man..." but you know what Fuck being a "man!" Be true. I don't care what anyone things of me or my life, it is my own.  I think it's more of a "man" to be true to ones self instead of living up to any one's pre-conceived moulds or notions, it just makes me claustrophobic.

And don't worry what others will think, remember, you'll be dead :p

-Rey

"To be great is to be misunderstood."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Random thought...

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you never woke up...

-REY

Journal Entry 3

I've been thinking about my past relationship. The thing that still causes me the most pain.  It's not really the thing so much as the thought of it really.  I was thinking about how I was really in love with the thought of her and how it related to me. Aren't most of our romantic relationship just selfishness anyway.  Don't we really just love what the other person can show us about our selves, how they make us feel, the happiness they can bring. I don't believe real love is so solitary and wanting. I was thinking about how none of us really know our selves, and all we have are these peronalities that we call us. But personalities change, they are not the deep down being of us. If it changes it is only form, the tip of the iceberg. So if I think about it, all I'm really sad about is the illusion of me missing the illusion of her, quite comical really. I literally laugh when I think about it.  But only for a second, I've still been very conditioned for the last 29 years and am deeply rooted in Samsara, so it's hard.

(I apologize for the vid quality :p)

I was also thinking about an entry I wrote and posted on to facebook.  A friend replied to the post and his only comment was that I had misspelled a word.  At first I was a bit embarrassed that he would post that on facebook instead of sending me a private message, almost like that was the intention. Then I was annoyed at it because out of the whole post this was the only comment he made. I felt that I had put in some good stuff in the post and he just breezed over it and zeroed in on the error.  But now, it makes me laugh.  I started thinking about how this mentality could and probably does consume so much of our lives . I mean how many times do we pass over the treasures in our life, just to concentrate on the misgivings. How many times do we miss our blessings not because we don't get them but because we don't see them.  Maybe we think of them as mundane or maybe we're addicted to the pain, it gives us a sense of identity, so we need to do these things.  Either way we can't progress unless we know things for what they really are.   We lose the present, the past and the future, just to concentrate on an illusion.  How many times have we all done this, I'm sure too many, and maybe for some not enough. It just makes me think. I remember in a Bruce Lee video he was counselling one of his students, and to better explain a concept he pointed at the moon.  The student was so disconnected that he began to stare at Bruce's finger. Bruce then slapped him in the back of the head and said "Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glooorryy" I think that's what we do...don't miss all the heavenly glory.


-REY

peaceful warrior: @ the fights!

Random thought

"Men understand action, God understands intention."

There are 3 layers:
Morality
Human nature
GOD
-Morality is imposed by society
-Human nature comes from the animalistic need to survive
-God is everything on its base level, oneness.

When the illusion of morality fades there is human nature.
When the illusion of human nature fades there is God, the giving up of one's self to be part of the whole.

The first two layers are just a play on the one, God.

"Oneness always, God always."


-Rey

Things I shouldn't be thinking during meditation: Day 4

Hey everyone!

Foreword:  My first mediation was very full with thoughts of the day.  There's been so much going on that's its been like a thick cloud keeping me in Samsara, the joy the pain of it all. I have actually been experiencing some success and having some break through on the personal level, so maybe that's why its been so hard today to connect with reality.  I find it's very hard to do both, to be successful in reality and Samsara at the same time, unless you open the door, then you are successful in samsara by bringing reality into it, and at that point you are a master and both worlds are as one. One day maybe if it is meant for this lifetime that I call "mine."

Meditation:  25 mins, not very good (15 mins, sublime)

Some realizations I did see was a strong link between the frontier they call "space" and our minds. While meditating I had a vision of an electrical cloud, or what I think one would look like, and I started to think wow, we exchange information in our brains by using electrical signals the same way many things do, so in a sort of way, my brain is sort of an electrical storm, like the electrical storm they have on other planets they deem inhabitable (by humans).  This really made me think, I mean if this is the case, then we can know the entire universe, infinity and beyond, just by studying ourselves.  I mean really the electrical storm out there is the same as the electrical storm going on inside of you.  We have so much beauty and perfection going through our bodies all the time, yet we believe when some other ignorant soul tells us something demeaning about ourselves, something that they have no idea about, because if they did, they wouldn't be saying what they are saying.  We have no idea of the concept reality and constant pool of eternal we are swimming in, "it's like asking a fish what water is" as Master Tolle would say. Its fascinating how much certain cluster of cells look like solar systems, its amazing how far out there, looks so much like way in here.  The alpha and the omega, the tiny follows the colossal, opposites are really so close to each other until they become one another.  Extreme hot and extreme cold, love and hate.  You know I have this theory, if it's not contradictory then it's not right...I know you think I'm crazy and it makes no logical sense but I've notice in life the things I've found to be the most true at some point or another is contradictory. This happens alot in Buddhism "strive not to strive" and things of that nature.  But it's really a crazy balance, I mean in words in sounds contradictory but to "know" it on ones heart is not.
I believe most knowledge and information is more for the play of intellect that the realization of truth. You notice how clever and intellectual people with fast moving neurons and such like to play these clever games, these thought provoking games, almost like mental masturbation.  I believe this is because they are inclined to intellect so they do these things to satisfy their need of mental movement and play to make them feel good. In the process many discoveries are made and information is put together in order for innovation and a progression of a certain sort.  But truth, I mean actual realization, this will never be found by intellect alone, our brain is too small, we need both.  we need mental stimulation as well as spiritual knowing in order to satisfy our needs.  As humans we are born in a unique situation where we know that we know.  Because of this our bodies do play a factor and we need these sense perceptions for realization.  The perfect balance is oneness, that's when it all come together.

Today's was a bit long and rambling but I have not developed these theories enough, so I apologize if I've given you too much food but not enough sustenance. Much love.

Namaste~

Things I shouldn't be thinking during meditation: Day 4

Foreword:

Hello everyone, I renamed this series "Things I shouldn't be thinking during mediation" because of exactly that reason...I shouldn't be thinking during mediation!  It not so much that I "shouldn't" be thinking (not a big fan of that word anyway), as so much as the whole point of mediation I believe is to be left with a clear and present mind after realizing thoughts as illusion.  Now if you think about it, no pun intended, one would probably be thinking during mediation up until the point one has really mastered the situation and no longer required the eradication of it to get to the truth of reality.  Now at that point one can argue that there would be no point of mediation because if this can be achieved at anytime why take special time out to realize what one has already realized?  To this I have no answer, I am not at that stage. but feel free to look it up on the net and respond with any insight one may have.  I do believe this however,  I believe when you do get to the point of steadfast realization, the world will look quite different to you, as just a game, a very serious game if you will but not part of reality, only the essence of it.  At this point you can choose to play or abstain, observe thought or have no mind at all, the choice is yours, grace looks clumsy, and clumsy looks graceful.

Mediation:

Good mediation, 30 mins long.

Many thoughts whizzed about my head, I had an abundance of energy and things to do so that would make sense.  One thought was of this blog actually.  And how it was a labor of love and how surprisingly into it I am.  I don't have much readership but that doesn't really deter me, what really gets me frustrated sometimes is that I feel I can't express how I really feel. Not so much as for me really, if you think about it I could just go mediating in a monastery for the rest of my days and send my messages to the world through oceans or maybe even on the wind, but I don't.  The reason is because I have a need to connect to people on an intellectual level, this is where the art comes in.  I believe art is made when one finds a way to say what one is truly trying to say in a way people can understand. So I spent a large part of my mediation thinking of the cool things I could say, did I succeed (lol)?  There were other thoughts but I truly cannot remember them now, I think I spend too much time on the foreword, ha! I know at the end of it I was left with a feeling of peace and acceptance, a calming, I truly believe one can understand the whole world this way, not intellectually but on the level of being. The last 5 mins were sublime :)

Okay just got another thought. I thought of how the whole universe was my lady, so to speak. I mean think about it, if love is everywhere and everything then why do we do that "us" versus "them" human love. Yes we occupy a body and yes we will have certain personalities that click with some and not with others but on the level of love, can't we love everything?  Can't we see the world as our family, Samsara as our lover?  Because you do know Samsara is the ultimate seduction right? Of course it is, it's easier to get off Methamphetamine than it would be to get off Samsara.  You're in a constant pool of it, if you sit down its there, your friends and family are constantly feeding to you, society tells you its good, its in your head, it is your head, anything that you can label or put a "yours" or "mine" to, it's there! Good luck right! It's to the point where when people refer to "reality" they're referring to what they can conceive of as Samsara, but I believe we will discover this is far from reality.  Sometimes when people try to tell me about reality I almost want to laugh. Anyway the point is I am opening my gates.  No longer will I be confined to a constrictive type of love; I will do my best to live up to my truth and love everything as the perfect being that is is. Every step I take, every burning pain sensation I experience will be a moment of Ecstasy with my lover, the universe. She's the perfect woman for me, for everyone really, I will watch her come and go, curse me, bless me, scare me to my wits end, give me joy to the point I feel I might burst and die, only to know that one day she will leave me, but it will all be worth it.

I hope you guys could pick up what I was putting down just then but if you can't it's all good just keep reading for the crazy martian from the sky.

"Everyone has someone, but me, I have everyone...correction, everything."

Thanks everyone for sharing your precious time

Namaste~

 

(Things I shouldn't be thinking during) Meditations Day 3

Hey everyone, this isn't exactly day 3 so the title is a little misleading but it is after a medidation so close enough.  Today was a pretty good meditation, it was 30 minutes and I actually did it at work! Lots of thoughts occupied my mind today, probably because I was in a pretty good mood; it goes like that some times. They say its actually easier to let go of the world when you're unhappy which can bring you closer to enlightenment but not necessary.  Again, suffering is never necessary.

In my deep thoughts there were signs of my old relationships all over the place.  Whizzing around my head like the wizard of oz, just pieces here and there and even when I couldn't see them I knew it was her, or just the feeling of her.  I forgave her, I condemned her, the usually really, just not so much in a direct way.  Anyway there was also a thought of Marcus Aurelius and his stoicism, and how his qoute "just do what needs to be done" has rung true for so many things for so many years.  I began to think of nature and how it follows this principle and has achieved everything we could see or ever have.  I mean think about it, when water meets upon a valley, it goes down it, without thought or so much even action, it just does because that's what is done.  The same way lightening is produced by a place of overabundance going to a place of defeciet in a certain something and there by stablizing the environment.  I just mean this seems to be the way of everlasting peace, of changes that mean something.  I feel like when we think about something too much or mess with it, or try to build it up too big, it falls, it is not everlasting.  I mean nothing is everlasting but, it's on shakey ground, it's not built with care, it's not built with the dao.  I don't know I just feel like there are certain reasons why somethings have stood the test of time. I'm not saying we shouldn't use our brains but I do think we just need to do what needs to be done, and stop there.  No extra bells, no extra whistles, because it's all vanity really, anything done for the purpose of one's own self is vanity. Are you willing to give up something small for the whole world.

Namaste ~

For the poets (stole this off a friend, Thanks Sexton!)

Question:

I am a poet, who published three books of poetry. I write mainly in response to pain, so my poems reveals the sad moments. That’s why I abandoned writing poetry so that I don’t convey any negative energy to others. Can you please advise me how to spread joy and peace and be true in expressing the negative feelings in writing.

Response:

Honest poetry must come from one’s heart, from one’s direct experience. If you are feeling bright, joyous and expansive, then your poetry will convey that. It you are experiencing emotional contraction, loss and isolation, then your poetry will convey that. However, if you want your sad experiences of poetry to spread joy and peace, then you need to get all the way to the essence of the experience. Beneath the emotional desolation there is a still beauty and truth found at the heart of one’s existence, your own pure light. By going all the way through this process and coming out the other side, sadness and grief is redeemed and transmuted in to love and peace. Poetry that accesses this experience is important because it connects to people who are stuck in sad emotions, it validates their experience while offering them a path to freedom and joy.

Love,
Deepak

When life gives you lemons...

Meditations day 2 (How To Meditate II - Sitting Meditation)

Medidtations Day 2

So today was a 30 minute meditation, pretty good today actually, I used some candles and some inscents and I think it got the ball rolling.

While meditating, some thoughts arose, and one of them was about good and bad, and our perception of them.  In this case it was in the form of a sensation.  In the buddhist meditation that I am practicing we let thoughts rise and fall as they will but are still mindful to stay present.  This practice involes not liking or disliking anything, instead to become the feeling or sensation fully by staying present, not discerning good or bad.  Well while I was meditating an annoying sensation sensation came on the left side of my mouth.  At first I thought it could've been a bug but most likely it was just an itch or some kind of irritation.  So instead of swiping at it or moving, I became comepletly still and started to relax into this sensation, and let it be.  Then I even got to the point where I started to feel it fully, to become every nook and cranny of what it was I was feeling, and you know what?  It really wasn't that bad, dare I say pleasing in an intense sort of way.  It eventually began to feel like a tickle and I found myself almost smiling.  Now would I go around putting itching powder on my face or desiring this sensationg, probably not; But the whole thing is that a large part of our suffering and disapproval is because of our interputation of a situation or thing.

I'm sure we've all got situations in our life where something's happening that we don't necessarily want to, and if you can get youself out of that situation then you should, ultimately suffering isn't necssary.  But if you can't get youself out of it, try and look at the situation as an experience. Become that experience good or bad, stay present in that experience, try and see it as the rise and fall of Samsara, of form, becuase that 's what it really is. This world isn't really, atleast not as we percieve it. We're all just ants putting on hats and coats and gloves acting like like things are important, and I'm sure they are to us, but ultimately not.  I am not saying anything new but just remember to stay present everyone, this is your primary purpose, and then move like the wind.

I hope this has helped someone, thanks for letting me share.


-Rey

Slinky Drop questions "Check it out!" You've got to make a prediction to get to the answer

How People Disappear "Cool stuff" I have an interesting people on how people really "disapper" but they'll be a video on that later..."

How Much Does a Shadow Weigh? "Got curious about what exactly is a shadow and stumbled upon this...enjoy!"