Things I shouldn't be thinking during meditation: Day 4

Foreword:

Hello everyone, I renamed this series "Things I shouldn't be thinking during mediation" because of exactly that reason...I shouldn't be thinking during mediation!  It not so much that I "shouldn't" be thinking (not a big fan of that word anyway), as so much as the whole point of mediation I believe is to be left with a clear and present mind after realizing thoughts as illusion.  Now if you think about it, no pun intended, one would probably be thinking during mediation up until the point one has really mastered the situation and no longer required the eradication of it to get to the truth of reality.  Now at that point one can argue that there would be no point of mediation because if this can be achieved at anytime why take special time out to realize what one has already realized?  To this I have no answer, I am not at that stage. but feel free to look it up on the net and respond with any insight one may have.  I do believe this however,  I believe when you do get to the point of steadfast realization, the world will look quite different to you, as just a game, a very serious game if you will but not part of reality, only the essence of it.  At this point you can choose to play or abstain, observe thought or have no mind at all, the choice is yours, grace looks clumsy, and clumsy looks graceful.

Mediation:

Good mediation, 30 mins long.

Many thoughts whizzed about my head, I had an abundance of energy and things to do so that would make sense.  One thought was of this blog actually.  And how it was a labor of love and how surprisingly into it I am.  I don't have much readership but that doesn't really deter me, what really gets me frustrated sometimes is that I feel I can't express how I really feel. Not so much as for me really, if you think about it I could just go mediating in a monastery for the rest of my days and send my messages to the world through oceans or maybe even on the wind, but I don't.  The reason is because I have a need to connect to people on an intellectual level, this is where the art comes in.  I believe art is made when one finds a way to say what one is truly trying to say in a way people can understand. So I spent a large part of my mediation thinking of the cool things I could say, did I succeed (lol)?  There were other thoughts but I truly cannot remember them now, I think I spend too much time on the foreword, ha! I know at the end of it I was left with a feeling of peace and acceptance, a calming, I truly believe one can understand the whole world this way, not intellectually but on the level of being. The last 5 mins were sublime :)

Okay just got another thought. I thought of how the whole universe was my lady, so to speak. I mean think about it, if love is everywhere and everything then why do we do that "us" versus "them" human love. Yes we occupy a body and yes we will have certain personalities that click with some and not with others but on the level of love, can't we love everything?  Can't we see the world as our family, Samsara as our lover?  Because you do know Samsara is the ultimate seduction right? Of course it is, it's easier to get off Methamphetamine than it would be to get off Samsara.  You're in a constant pool of it, if you sit down its there, your friends and family are constantly feeding to you, society tells you its good, its in your head, it is your head, anything that you can label or put a "yours" or "mine" to, it's there! Good luck right! It's to the point where when people refer to "reality" they're referring to what they can conceive of as Samsara, but I believe we will discover this is far from reality.  Sometimes when people try to tell me about reality I almost want to laugh. Anyway the point is I am opening my gates.  No longer will I be confined to a constrictive type of love; I will do my best to live up to my truth and love everything as the perfect being that is is. Every step I take, every burning pain sensation I experience will be a moment of Ecstasy with my lover, the universe. She's the perfect woman for me, for everyone really, I will watch her come and go, curse me, bless me, scare me to my wits end, give me joy to the point I feel I might burst and die, only to know that one day she will leave me, but it will all be worth it.

I hope you guys could pick up what I was putting down just then but if you can't it's all good just keep reading for the crazy martian from the sky.

"Everyone has someone, but me, I have everyone...correction, everything."

Thanks everyone for sharing your precious time

Namaste~