Meditations: Day 5

Hey everyone, what's up? I know it's been a while and I've been meditating a bit so this isn't actually day 5 but who's keeping count right :p. In conjunction with my sitting meditation I've actually been doing walking meditation also which isn't as dangerous as it sounds, ha.  You pretty much just take a walk and chant exactly what it is you're doing at that moment in order to stay present. For example, while I'm walking I'll say "walking walking walking..." and then if I start thinking something in particular I say "thinking thinking thinking.." etc.  It's pretty cool and very different but we'll get into that later ;)

Meditations

Sitting, 45 mins...ok it was more like 43, Good meditation, lots of thoughts.

I came into this meditation with lots of thoughts that I was trying to cut through as is usually the case when I feel particularly energetic or lively. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing however; it actually helped me see that I've gained a deeper sense of overstanding of  my meditation.  The thoughts were there but they really weren't a hindrance or something that brought  about a deep disturbance which often happens when you're using effort to get rid of something.  I experienced these thoughts for what they were and appreciated the ups and downs and rocky road that they brought. Dare I say I enjoyed them (gasps!).
Many thoughts came to me but one stood out in my mind in particular; it's actually a thought I've been thinking about for a while now.  It's about how we each have these particular set of people, either by whom we are told are related to us or we have designated in our life as special, that we call family. We deem our family special because they often offer us support, comfort, and something to hold on to, they are our rock, to a certain degree they give us a purpose.  We look out for these people and can be quite bias towards them.  While most of us don't mean to do harm to others, if something were to happen, I mean really happen, if push came to shove, we would protect these people first and we would hope that they would do the same for us. These are our designated peoples, these are the people we've invested so much time, love, and care into.  During my meditation I took an Ariel view of this concept however, taking myself out of it as a person, and just viewing the situation as an observer. I saw different clans of people huddled up together all across this tiny white map clinging to each other for dear life. Some were dressed in traditional tribal gear and some were dressed in khakis.  After a while I saw one clan member turning out with a snarl on his face and say "these people are special!" a member from another clan would then say "No, these people are special!", then another clan would say "What?! no these people are special!" and so on and so forth each turning back with a pouty face frown...this made me laugh.  It made me think, aren't we all special? And if so why do we deem some people more special than others? Aren't we all part of the world family? Is my family more special simply because it's mine? Why do we have these designated people that we'd fight and die for, only to kill others who will be fought and died for? I believe if we could stop the mental separation we would see that the whole universe deserves out greatest gifts.
For example, I have my daughter whom I love very much but really is she any more special than any one's Else's daughter? Is she more worthy to be saved, cherished or loved?  I don't believe so. Yes she is my direct responsibility but really all daughters are my daughters, all men are my brothers, fathers, and sons, all women are my sisters and wives.  Many of us wear this mask, we trudge through life like its something to schemed on, plotted on, overcome; then we take off this mask when get home where we can let it all be, where we can open up our hearts to love and relaxation. Home is where the heart is right? I don't believe in this.  I think the whole world needs your love and blessing, your tenderness, your openness, your forgiveness, always.  Neglecting your macrocosm, Will only kill your microcosm! This is why our kids can't play outside, it's because of our Karma; it's because we're holding back our gifts for people we deem worthy.  I've got a news flash for you, everyone is worthy, all neighborhoods are safe where love is; as safe as a neighborhood can be anyway. Can you imagine how much deeper our lives would be, our love would be if we could see all people as ourselves.
Us as human beings we need something to hold on to. Something to go this is home, this is right, this is wrong, this is here, that is there, this is us, and that is them; we need to know this with some form of certainty.  I believe the truth however is quite opposite.  There is no definite right, wrong, up, down, it's all relative.  Everything changes, people you know will die, your life probably won't be remembered (at least not the way you think it will), everything built will fall, and really the only thing to hold on to, is that there's nothing to hold on to. Is this Nihilism? No, I don't believe so.  Like I said, we have a human body and we were born the way we were for some reason but I think the truth of the matter should be held in the back of our minds so we don't get lost in our egos. As human beings we have the unique ability to step outside of ourselves and see beyond "our" lives, and into life itself. Use it.

A fallen brethren or some who has lost their way is not an opportunity to say "that's not my problem", we need to treat this person as you would your aunt, uncle or any other family member.  If we don't give them the attention now, we'll be giving it later. We'll be giving it to them when they're on the news shooting up schools, putting bombs on buses, talking to themselves on trains, killing, stealing, these are the misunderstood.  And then when we seem them on the news we throw labels at them like "crazy", "terrorist","evil", "trash", like they're something outside ourselves to be thrown away, but they're not.  They're just like you and me they've just been left out of the world family; they feel powerless and alone.  What would you do if you were so lonely you could only have conversations with yourself on the train, wouldn't you go mad? Yes, some of these people have made mistakes, and to that I say a resounding so what? Haven't you made mistakes, huge mistakes, perhaps still making them right now? Haven't you done something so terrible that only a few people know about? I believe most of us have, it's just that these people's mistakes may have been brought to the light and maybe they were ostracized for it.  I'm not saying you have to be a superhero and go to every soup kitchen and save the world, on the contrary, I would encourage you not to, instead just help the people next to you.  Help the people you see everyday, give a smile, acknowledge someone, show compassion, take out the mental boundary, take out the us vs. them.

Walking meditation:

A collection of 15 min meditations,  Good meditations

In walking meditation I've discovered much stoicism.  Not as in lack of feeling but more like the understanding of feeling and emotions.  I've noticed that all emotions are preceded by a thought, and all fear is preceded by the thought of ones self.  Fear is just how an image, thought, or reaction, pertains to you, if you see it as a threat or not. I noticed this by observing myself, by staying present with the chanting, as I walked down the street I noticed that each new image brought about a feeling of pleasure or dread.  An image of a man may bring about a feeling of fear, someone bigger stronger possibly threatening.  In my particular case what brought about the most fear/anxiety was someone I possibly knew but didn't want to talk to, social anxiety, fear.  I also noticed there wasn't much that didn't bring about fear with me, just the image of another person in the distance, I'm afraid of my own shadow.  This shows a lack of confidence, A feeling of not being able to handle the world and the things that may come.  I really realized how much fear and anxiety is in my heart and how I much change this to live a fuller life. I also realized how beautiful everything was, with my mind so quiet I could sit down with something like a leaf and just look at it.  I didn't need a thousand news feeds or a magnifying glass, or music, or google to tell me exactly what kind of tree it fell from;  I could just look at it, for the first time, with my own eyes, it was beautiful, I saw a body, just as mine.

~Namaste

-Rey